Unscripted Read online

  “He’s a pervert with loads of money, and he’s a fucking criminal,” he admonished.

  “I’m not defending him in the least. I’m just saying what the truth is.”

  “Why isn’t this guy behind bars for hurting you?” He threw his hands up. “I don’t understand this Holliday.”

  Ronan ran his hand over the curve of his jaw and covered his mouth. I said nothing. I knew the other shoe was about to drop. Charlotte was right— this was going to be a fight.

  “Jesus Christ Holliday!” He yelled sharply. “What did you get yourself into in another life? What have you pulled me into?” His body stiffened as I noticed he was practically snarling.

  “Are you fucking kidding me, you dick?” I glared at him. My sadness had now turned to anger. “You selfish bastard, you’re only thinking of yourself right now and how this affects you.”

  He decided it was time to take that drink.

  “Maybe Grady James was right about you after all,” I snapped.

  “Oh, fuck that, Holliday. Do not even think about turning this around on me,” Ronan warned.

  “Ronan, I went out with him for two years. If you’re worried about the tabloids linking you to Derek Saunders’ ex-girlfriend, they won’t be able to make the connection.”

  “I cannot deal with this right now. I cannot believe you would go out with a guy like that.” His accent thickened the angrier he became.

  “It’s unfair that you’re judging me like this,” I said flatly.

  He looked at me, absorbing my words, leaning against the bar. The dazzle in his green eyes was gone, as if he was looking right through me. I felt like Ronan was ashamed of me, like I was dirty and soiled just because I went out with Derek Saunders, the President of Side Effects Media. I knew now that it was terrible to get involved with him, but at the time I just wanted to feel something exciting. Derek was charming, funny, and he treated me well, until the night that he didn’t. He’d found a way to make money in the industry with porn. I’m making excuses for a capitalist who just happens to be a sadist criminal. There’s something wrong with that, right?

  “Look Ronan,” I pulled up photos of me with Derek at events and on the red carpet.

  Ronan casually walked towards me and I pointed to the images on my laptop.

  “Whoa, that doesn’t even look like you.”

  “Right? I told you I was a natural blonde. Plus, I wore wigs a lot on the red carpet with Derek. Look at my name: Holli Grace. Every single photo on the internet with Derek and me, I’m labeled as Holli Grace. I don’t exist, well Holli doesn’t exist.” Ronan let out a chuckle looking at the pictures of me wearing a cotton candy pink bobbed wig. “No one will ever make the connection.”

  “Until they do,” he said snidely.

  “I don’t know what to say Ronan. I liked Derek. The guy was a good time, and he seduced me into this crazy fast party world in Hollywood. I was young and going through a phase. Ultimately I paid a high price for dating a shady guy.”

  Ronan shot me an annoyed look. “Holliday, I hope you know that you did not get some kind of karmic justice served to you because you dated a smut mogul.”

  “I didn’t until I saw the look on your face, the look of shame and embarrassment. I’m sorry this has hurt you. You’re the last person on Earth I’d ever want to be disgusted by me.” I hung my head, biting my bottom lip and trying to choke back the sobs. “I’ll leave.”

  I walked to the closet where all my stuff was hanging and I reached for my suitcase. Ronan gently grabbed my arm and said, “You’re not leaving. Don’t be absurd.”

  My heart jumped. “Ronan, I feel like you can’t even look at me without thinking I’m dirty or something.”

  “My beauty, you’re not dirty,” he said softly.

  Oh thank God, my nickname has returned.

  “Ronan, I… I know the kind of world Derek is involved in. It’s the deep seedy underbelly of Hollywood, and his connections are all over the world. He’s into shit that you can’t even imagine.”

  “Then why the fuck were you with him? Because he was fun?” His voice was filled with anger.

  “Ronan.” My voice became strangled as I sobbed through my words. “Isn’t that exactly why you were with Emma, because she was fun and hot?” I wiped away the tears with the back of my hand.

  He shot back a look of anger at me. Ronan knew I was right, and so I kept pushing. “Jesus Christ Ronan, you married her! Not to mention you had two kids with her.” I may have crossed the line by bringing Jade and Leah into this conversation. “So I don’t think you are in any kind of position to judge me,” I warned.

  Ronan glanced at me and said nothing, but his face began to soften.

  I hung my head. “When I was younger I had this need to push myself to the limits. I had a thing… I had a thing for danger and losing control. Nothing serious. What can I say except I liked fast cars, a good time and bad boys.” He rolled his eyes at me. “I still like having a good time… correction… a nice time and I do love fast cars, but my bad boy phase is over.”

  “So, what, you were just out of control or something and needed a rush?”

  “Something like that. I needed to see how far I could take a thrill. It was euphoric. About a year and a half into my relationship with Derek I was bored with it. I tried to leave him, but he said I was his good luck charm.”

  “His good luck charm?”

  “I was a pretty young girl with a rocking body. Men liked being in my company. I got them to trust me. It’s no secret that Derek throws a hell of a party. He knows how to entertain and charm people. When clients or businessmen would want to know where to find the hottest girls in Los Angeles who were down to fuck, Derek would send me to the clubs to make the introductions.”

  “So you were what, a fucking call girl liaison?” His words hit me like nails on a chalkboard. It was grating, and I still felt like he saw me as less of the person I was.

  “I was. How do you know that term?” I shot back.

  “There are rumors that these types of services are available. People say that the girls are insanely beautiful, like innocent girl next door types. They don’t act like whores,” he acknowledged. “Plus the services are rather inexpensive and you can opt for repeat business only at your choosing. Way less risky than having your name on the books with the Hollywood Madame.”

  “If there’s a black book of client names…” There is. “Or money being traded…” It was. “For the record I know nothing about that. I’m not naïve. Do you understand what I’m saying, Ronan?”

  Please God tell me he gets what I am trying to say. His eyes widened and he nodded at me. “Do you want me to continue telling you the details?” I asked.

  Ronan nodded again. I could tell he was cautiously curious.

  I continued disclosing the truth of everything I knew to Ronan as he stepped closer to me.

  “We’d go out and party, and I would just happen to introduce these men to a random person or an acquaintance, who just happened to be on Derek’s payroll. The rumors are true. These girls didn’t look or act like prostitutes. They were usually college girls trying to pay their way through school. Derek and his associates would use the same hotel for all of the liaisons –Derek’s hotel. It’s filled with cameras. The encounters were all taped. If Derek needed to he would use it as blackmail later, threatening to send a copy to their wives or girlfriends. If they were a celebrity…” I dropped my eyes to the floor. “He’d threaten to leak the tapes to the press. From what I know, Derek’s inner circle with this was tight as fuck. He never got caught, and the police were never on to him for it.”

  “Holliday, this sounds like a script to a movie. This is fucking bizarre.”

  I approached Ronan slowly. He sat his drink down at the bar, turned and clutched my upper arms. Searching my face, he said, “I’m glad you told me this, and I’m sorry I yelled. But this guy should be in jail.”

  I sighed. “Derek’s pockets are deeper than mine, and I
couldn’t sit across from him and his buddies in a court room and endure it. Derek would fight me every day with everything he had. I couldn’t run the risk of him having something on me that might cause me to go to jail.”

  He hugged me tightly. “I’m sorry I had no idea you were carrying around so much…”

  “Baggage?” I replied sharply. “I hope you can understand that I just don’t want one horrid tragedy to define me or my life.”

  He sighed, pushing my hair away from my face, and then he brushed his lips to mine. That sparkle had returned to his beautiful eyes. “I understand Holliday. He’ll never touch you. Your secret is safe with me.”

  I was wide-awake, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling. It was nearly one in the morning. It was Friday, my last day with Ronan, the man I might be in love with, which was completely crazy. I had shared more with this man than any other previous relationship I’d been in. Why? I was normally so closed off when it came to men and relationships. He made it effortlessly easy for me to be honest, to let my guard down, but at the same time it scared the living shit out of me. Ronan slept silently next to me. I checked to see if his chest was still moving. I touched his face softly.

  “I love you, Ronan Connolly,” I whispered.

  He didn’t move. I closed my eyes and drifted peacefully to sleep.

  “I don’t have to explain my personal life to you Emma. We’re not married any longer, remember? No, you have no right to ask me questions or even question any of my romantic relationships for that matter.” Ronan’s tone was sharp, his jaw tight. He remained calm, just firm enough to establish his point while on the phone with Emma.

  “Our daughters are always on my mind when I choose to introduce them to someone special… Oh really, Emma… that’s rich coming from you… Martin is quick with his temper. The guy threatened the gardeners in front of the girls.” His voice was raised now. Ronan was growing angrier with Emma by the minute. “Because they told me that Dax was mad at the lawn mowing man and said bad words to him… Conversation over Emma. The girls are moving to New York and you’ll just have to deal with it. Goodbye.” Ronan threw his phone across the room. Thankfully it hit the back of the couch and bounced to the carpet without hitting anything breakable.

  I was genuinely not looking forward to meeting Emma Bailey-Wilson, but I’d deal with her for Ronan. I thought I might walk through fire for him. I inched towards him slowly as he let out a deep sigh. Wrapping his arms around me, he said, “I’m sorry you had to hear that, my beauty.”

  “The conversation was a little heated between the two of you.”

  “Yeah, Emma isn’t on board with me moving to the city and taking the girls.”

  “Well, it’s understandable. She is their mother.”

  “No, Emma’s just mad because it inconveniences her life. She’s upset because she’ll have to rearrange her schedule and make more of an effort to be their mother. Our daughters are an afterthought for her. Emma’s status and fame mean more to her than anything else.”

  He pulled away and walked to the bar where he lifted a bottle of San Pellegrino to his lovely lips, taking a few sips. He must have run his hands through his hair the entire time he was on the phone because his curls were everywhere. I stared at Ronan. He was brooding and sexy, and I wanted to pull him from his gloomy state.

  “I’m sorry Ronan. I cannot imagine how that makes you feel.”

  “It’s all right.” He inhaled a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m just sorry you have to hear me deal with my crazy ex-wife.”

  Reaching for my hand, Ronan gently pulled me into his strong frame. I hugged him tightly, and he kissed the top of my head. Leaning back, he brushed his lips to mine. My lips parted and our tongues found each other with gentle soft twists. I ran my hands through Ronan’s luscious dark curls, hoping to tame the wildly tousled tresses. Really I just loved running my hands through his hair. Breaking our kiss, Ronan just stared at me for a few moments, brushing the tips of his fingers from my forehead over my cheeks and to my chin. My breathing hitched; unable to speak, I was lost to everything, not sure what he would say next.

  “Beauty, I don’t want to waste another moment of this day talking about Emma or anything unpleasant.”

  “When does your flight leave?”

  “I have to be at the airport at three,” he said quietly.

  His words hit me like the weight of a ton of bricks crushing my soul. I desperately wanted Ronan to stay. Threading my fingers with his, I realized that I truly didn’t want him to go ever.

  “Come with me, my beauty. Shower with me. I want to bathe every inch of your gorgeous body.”

  Walking backwards, never taking his eyes off of me, Ronan led me to the master bathroom. He pulled my burgundy silk chemise over my head and hung it on the doorknob of the linen closet. Leaning into the shower, he turned on the water, checking the temperature with his hand. His silk blue and green striped pajama bottoms dropped to the floor. I picked them up and folded them neatly before placing them on the left side of the dual sink marble vanity.

  We stood in the bathroom together, naked and gazing into each other’s eyes. My pulse quickened. My breathing was shallow. Lifting me up, Ronan carried me into the shower. Warm water rushed over us as we stood skin to skin under the rain shower, holding onto each other tightly. I felt like I was under a warm waterfall. It made me happy, and I melted into Ronan’s frame. Ronan lifted my chin, bringing my face up to meet his gaze. He covered my mouth with his, sweeping my tongue gently with broad tender strokes.

  “You look sad, my beauty. I can’t stand to see you sad.”

  “I feel like I’m crumbling into a million pieces on the inside. Am I crazy to feel this way?”

  Pressing his lips to my forehead, Ronan replied, “No, crazy would be us never meeting. Crazy would be me breathing another day on this Earth not knowing you existed.”

  “I need you Ronan, so much that it hurts.”

  His hands eased around my face. “You have me. I need you too, more than anyone I’ve ever needed in my entire life.”

  The water rushed over my shoulders and down my back. Every single strand of my hair was thoroughly wet. Ronan poured the shampoo into his palms and gently began to massage my aching scalp with his long fingers. Pressing his lips to my shoulders and my neck, trailing feather-light kisses across my skin, Ronan’s attentions relaxed me completely. Rinsing the shampoo from my hair, I felt soft impeccable kisses up one cheek and down the other side. The overwhelming scents of earthy botanicals tingled through my nose as Ronan carefully combed the conditioner through my hair. There’s that clean scent. It’s Ronan’s conditioner— it drives me wild.

  Grabbing the white bottle from the inset shelf, I poured a small amount of liquid into my hands and gently worked my fingers through Ronan’s waves, twisting and playing with the curls as I massaged his scalp. With each stroke his damp curls became more defined and fell loosely around his temples. As I finished, Ronan moved me under the hot water, rinsing the conditioner from my hair. Steam filled the room like a gentle fog rolling in. The glass doors of the shower frosted over with the moisture, shielding us from the world.

  I kissed him softly, moving his body closer to mine, and began to rinse the shampoo from his hair. We continued our shower, gently caressing and washing each other’s bodies. Our fingers wilted and our skin reddened. We savored each soft touch, finishing our shower in silence.

  Ronan wrapped me up in a plush white towel as I dried his damp skin with another, slowly moving over his broad shoulders, down his back and around to his rippled abs. I kissed across his chest as he weaved his long fingers through my damp waves. I studied his body, making note of every angle and curve. He was completely beautiful. I watched him as he wrapped the towel around his waist.

  “Ronan,” I said softly, gazing lazily up at him. “Has anyone ever told you that you have a glorious body?”

  He laughed a throaty chuckle, sweeping my cheek with his fingertips. “I’ve be
en told a time or two. Has anyone ever told you how absolutely beautiful your eyes are? They are the most alluring shade of blue, and then sometimes they’re light green. I feel like I could swim in them.”

  “Ronan…” I paused, searching his face. His gaze thrilled my body, hypnotizing me under his spell. I became lightheaded, feeling drunk and a bit weak. Maybe I really was in a trance.

  Ronan brushed my hair off my face and then placed both of his hands on the sides of my cheeks. “I know,” he whispered softly, leaning in to kiss me. “I love you too, Holliday Prescott.”

  Lying on the couch at the Penthouse gazing up at the ceiling, I was all alone, well except that Blake Foster, my personal bodyguard, was upstairs in the office. Ronan left for California a few hours ago. I watched him climb into the back of the black Mercedes, giving me a sexy nod and a waving goodbye. I kept my eye on the shiny car until it was swallowed up into the chaos of the early afternoon traffic. I stood in front of The York Hotel feeling happy yet empty at the same time. Ronan had just told me he loved me only mere hours before he left. I couldn’t believe I found myself loving a man that I had only known a few short days. I loved him so much that every part of my body ached for him. I loved his warm charming personality. He was generous as a lover, and the poetic rhythm of his accent was enough to drive me wildly out of my mind. I could listen to him talk for days.

  The range of emotions I had experienced with Ronan felt like a topsy-turvy spinning roller coaster. Suddenly I was awake for the first time in what felt like years. Every fiber of my being was filled with heated desire, passion, lust and fear, and all I wanted was more… more of everything, more of him. How had I just lived these past few years only going through the motions? But, as glorious as all of this was, was I kidding myself? Could it be real? Or just a moment in time - a few days of thrilling and scary excitement rolled into one? The moment before you hit that first big drop on your favorite coaster, you fall, and then it's over.